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about last night, into the morning.

As I breech adulthood, preparing a table before myself to feast on this thing called life, I'm constantly reminded that as a Believer and Woman of God I cannot do it all on my own.

Psalms 23 says that The Lord would prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...
My enemies are fear, doubt, worry, confusion and defeat. My highest hope is that the Lord would keep fulfill that promise according to his word.

The contradiction that stands in the gap of my faith is simply a question. What am I to do in all of this? While in a time of standing still, listening to the quiet voice, and being led by the Spirit, the Me that exists in the physical world meets the eyes of others (and myself) turns away in shame. Unable to make sense of my position, I struggle most to accept the place of vulnerability where not even I have a hint of where I'm going in Life. On a positive note: I've reached a place of acceptance of the things that I am for certain...

I AM an artist.
I AM a woman of faith.
I AM special.
I AM sensitive to the Spirit.
I AM of the Universe.
I AM before time, in time and beyond.

I've slowed the pace of pursuing performance and audition opportunities down to focus on my work as an Independent Artist. So far, it's been terrifyingly beautiful. While I don't have the finances to work in an organized space I am presented with the challenge of bringing inspiration to life right in the moment whether it be in my room or the kitchen or while walking on the street. RAW. I think of Erykah Badu and smile. She is who I've looked to since I was a little girl growing up in the 90's listening to my aunties music. She talks about calling her phone leaving tidbits of inspiration that comes to her on the answering machine.

Something is telling me to just enjoy Life. To be happy and joyous no matter the state of being. A position cannot and should not ever define me. I should never give my power over to those low places. It certainly is a struggle now that I've entered into new territory. I look back on my gravest struggles with my health and recall how I'd maintained my highest level of integrity. I need that now more than ever.

Learning to Love Myself Again.
I've been in beast mode for so long that I'd forgotten the beauty.
Something wonderful and unexpected happened last night...I looked down as I was dancing and saw my KoKopelli dancing too! Located on the inner part of my left leg, it's back swarmed and swiggled like Mama Yongvalou coming to life. My eyes gaped and my lips parted as I beheld the magic of my tattoo for the first time.

I will make it me business to share more on a consistent basis.
The Tale of Two Feet <3

Blessings,
Bee.

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